Mountain Reflection
How an extraordinary uphill climb helped me come back to the basics of ordinary life.
I recently returned from a trip to the Canadian Rockies, a whirlwind of incredible landscapes, wildlife sightings, and experiences.. A trip with an almost constant supply of excitement and anticipation. But now I’ve landed here, at home, with a dull thud of exhaustion. I have hundreds of photos of exquisite beauty and grandeur, but where do those even fit in with my day-to-day reality?
I found a soft landing for my heart yesterday, while serendipitously delving into a book of writings called Story Medicine, by Sez Kristiansen. (Sez is one of my favorite online meditation teachers, writers, and leader of a Substack community that supports my creative journey in such such a simple, yet profound way.) Like manna, her mountain poem (below) landed at my feet, reminding me not to cling with futility to the temporary beauty of the mountaintop—but to keep returning to the all the wisdom that found me on that path.
So I’ve been reaching back a bit, to a solo hike on this trip that pushed my limits—quite challenging, given my long list of fears and the daunting physical demand. But for a few hours, I could sense humanness and Divinity mingling—if not with ease, with the mutual agreement to share space. Hours spent on my own in pursuit of joy-giving views have always had a way of unveiling truth in a steady stream. This day was no exception: lessons just kept flowing like a river, the whole way. To name a few:
Challenge is life-giving, so say “yes” to the Voice that invites risk. Make the move that welcomes something new. Even when fear wants to argue away the invitation, or when there’s a temptation to deafen in favor of an “easier” route.
Stay the course, just put one foot in front of the other, trusting that the path will lead exactly where it’s meant to.
Breathe through each trepidation on arrival, welcoming the “what ifs” as a mother to child. Draw closer to vulnerability, because that is precisely where God’s Grace awaits, with:
ENCOURAGEMENT (You are strong, you can do this!), and ASSURANCE (it’s going to be ok, you are not alone!), and HOPE (prepare to be amazed!).
Feel all of it: pain, lightheadedness, pounding heart, and heaving lungs… but don’t ignore the sunlight through trees, the captivating mirror of earth and sky in water, the sounds of birdsong and rushing waterfall, the coolness of breeze blowing pine-scented air all around..
Stay true to what is happening with every second, rather than looking ahead to the steep grade and obstacles. Try not to make a habit of hugging corners and avoiding edges. There’s plenty of room on the trail for other parts of me to claim their freedom from fear—to walk boldly and sure-footed. Let them play!
It’s these moments of life where I actually follow the recipe—find the balance of sweet and salty, taste them all together. Where I remember that this is what it means to thrive, no matter the surroundings or circumstance, regardless of all of my thoughts and feelings. When I can really love life with my whole heart.
Thank you, as always, for taking the time to read—and feel free to share anything that resonates.
THE MOUNTAIN
How do you hold onto that un-splintered version of yourself as you traverse back into the foothills of everyday life?
How do you return to the smallness and troubles that multiply under routine and magnification?
How do you bottle up the vastness of perspective or carry the expansive horizion in the cup between shoulder blades?
How do you keep that perfection of heart without losing it to daily blemish and fray?
How do you grasp the fullness of hope in a palm that has so much else to hold?
How do you let your wilder places grow, untamed and full, away from those hands ready to till up soil and make ready for rows?
How do you take the mountain home?
Sez Kristiansen
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Thank you Natalie. I needed to hear this as I question whether to take a trip that is bringing me much anxiety. I need to say “yes” when my small self say, “no, be safe, it’s too much of a risk”.